Inviting all to come unto Christ: Sharing the gospel

Really?

Sickness is in our house - again.  Didn't I just post about this?  Really!  *sigh*  Tis the season, but it doesn't make it any more fun and my house smells of Lysol and bleach in abundance tonight.  Here's an update:  Baby Boy developed a stuffy nose and it went straight to his chest last night and he's been pretty miserable today.  The other two boys have a stuffy nose/coughing virus.  But poor Princess has had the roughest go of it.  She got a stomach bug and threw up at school on Friday (all over herself), and by that night she was screaming about her pee pee hurting so I took her in to the ER where she got on some antibiotics.  She's still struggling with the stomach bug, now she has a UTI, and tonight she's got the awful cough/sore throat/stuffy nose and fever mess. 

I know my kids are tired of being sick, and I'm tired of them being sick.  Honestly, we really do wash and sanitize hands A LOT at our house.  I even shampooed the carpets tonight hoping it would help with getting better (that, and it needed to be shampooed in the high traffic areas anyway and I didn't want to pay someone to do it).  But I reached the end today and I just wanted to sit down and cry and have a good pity party.  So of course, the best way to have a pity party is to call my mom!  :)

Zane being gone is difficult in and of itself, but taking care of sick children for so long by myself is wearing on me.  I was sad and frustrated that while I was home, yet again, not getting any breaks with my sickos - Zane had gone to their weekly movie and was out to eat w/ some friends before they headed out for a night of kareoke and dancing.  :o/  So yes, I was frustrated and jealous and thinking that it is absolutely not fair that he got to go have carefree fun while I was sitting at home once again running around trying to entertain and take care of the four kids - BY MYSELF.

But you know, I would be devastated if I were the one missing these precious moments that occur daily with my kids.  Baby Boy was so cute when I was drying my hair and holding him because every time any bit of air would blow on his face he would duck his head and rub his eyes with his chubby little fists.  Brother Bear was carrying a tent pole around (plastic and short).  First it was a fishing pole and he was catching fish to cook for me to eat, then it was a dragon getter and he had to go find the dragons and kill them, then it it was a gun to shoot, and finally he was running full speed around the house yelling "AAAHHHHH!!!!" while holding the pole over his head like a spear.  I was laughing so hard.  Cowboy completely surprised me by looking at the cereal box and saying, "Hey Mom look! R-I-C-E says Rice, K-R-I-S-Q-I mean P-I-E-S Krispies.  That says Rice Krispies!"  I honestly thought he'd never learn his alphabet in time for kindergarten.  And Princess is loving reading in her scriptures and I am amazed at how well she does.  Those are just things that occurred today.  Not to mention every other day. 

So am I tired, yes, even exhausted and drained and stretched quite thin?  You bet!  Do I get jealous of Zane's ability to do whatever he wants without worrying about baby-sitters, nursing babies, sick babies, etc?  Absolutely!  Would I trade places with anyone else?  Never.  It may be a huge amount of responsibility to be a single parent (for all intents and purposes), but I am the one who gets to experience everything first hand, and that is completely priceless.  Besides, winter can't last forever, right?  :)  I do keep thinking to myself, just make it through February - one more month - you can do this!  hahaha.  Then it's going to be, let's get through March - one more month - you can do this!  :)  It's pretty amazing how the Lord gives us opportunities to learn just how capable we are.

Oh January

I'd just like to say, you are not my friend.
I don't like how long of a month you are.  Why do you stick around?
I don't like that you are followed by February - also a LONG month (ironic as is seems).
I really don't like the weather you have brought.  No snow, but very cold and gray??  Who wants to play outside in that?  Not my kids apparently.
I'm glad you are almost over.
I'm glad I've fought off your blahs so long.
Goodbye January - I'm looking forward to a long break from you...

Shared burdens

The Lord says to cast your burdens upon Him and He will make them light.  I know that is true without a shadow of a doubt and I've felt that many times in my life.

I am blessed.  Truly.  Can I just tell you a few of the blessings I received just today at the hands of others?  My daughter got breakfast for her brothers this morning so I could lay in bed and nurse Baby Boy a little longer.  I had a friend at church who not only helped me get the kids to their classes, but also picked them up for me when my class was running late.  I was surrounded by helpers today during sacrament meeting, and without being asked, they helped my kids and sat with them when I had to take Baby Boy out while he was fussy.  A sweet teenager colored and kept my kids quiet and entertained during the meeting so I could get Baby to sleep in the carseat and then hold Brother Bear while he went to sleep.  And then my home teacher and his family came over after the meeting and asked if I needed help getting out to the car (Brother Bear was still sleeping) - so the two boys carried a bag and Baby Boy's carseat out to the car for me.  I've been put in charge of arranging meals and such for compassionate service and I was concerned about having enough volunteers for a funeral this Saturday - but I had people not only sign up, but come up to me and offer their services.  I am always getting asked if I am doing alright while Zane is gone and what do I need? 

Like I said.  Blessed.  And that's not even the half of it.  The Lord will always carry our burdens and make them light, sometimes using other people's shoulders.  How grateful I am.

To Uncle Brad

I thought of you today and once again wished for time to turn back the clock.  I was singing a song from Les Mis and playing the piano.  I wished so badly that I would have shared with you my love of Broadway and musical theater (that I am just now rekindling), and perhaps taken you to a show, that I hadn't been so warped about my singing for so long, and I had sung with you while you were still alive.  I think we could have made some pretty great music together.  I miss your voice.  You were only a part of my life and family for 6 years, but I loved you.  While we were dating, Zane kept telling me about his "Uncle Brad" and how much he loved you.  Upon our first meeting, I could understand why and I quickly felt the same affinity.  You changed a lot before you died, and I missed how you were before, like when you sang at our wedding, but I understand.  I can't listen to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" without thinking of you, and you know, I like your version the very best.  I sang for my husband for the first time a couple of months after you died.  It was the first time I've sung in public in almost 8 years and it was long overdue and inspired by you.  So Brad, I hope you heard me today when I played "Memory," because I sang it just for you.  Sorry I waited so long.

Surgery

So all three older kids went in this morning for tonsadectomies and Princess got a tube in her ear.  They did pretty well.  Brother Bear was super fast but hysterical and it took quite some time to calm him down after he came out.  Princess went next, and takes after her mama in being very sensitive to the anesthesia so it took them quite some time to wake her up, and then she had the lovely throwing up episode.  Poor baby, I was sitting on her bed nursing Baby Boy and she threw up into her jello cup.  I couldn't really do anything to catch it, so I had to take Baby Boy into the other room w/Grandma and the boys, holler for a nurse, and then come in and help her wipe up.  She threw up again right before we came home - it was the closest I've come to adding my own throw up into the mixture in a long time.  Cowboy was last because they had to start an IV and antibiotics due to his heart murmur.  He is such a funny kid.  When they were getting ready to insert the IV he says, "Kay, just don't put it ALL the way through!"  It wasn't as bad as it could have been in recovery, but was quite the juggling act with a nursing baby, and 3 recovering kiddos, but thanks to Grandma - it turned out alright.  I will admit there was about 5 minutes in there after they brought Cowboy back where I wanted to break down and cry and I wondered how in the world we were going to take care of 3 very very sad and in pain children.  The whining is going to be the hardest to be patient with I think.  Well, that and trying to reason with a 4 and 2 yr old that screaming from the sore throat pain will actually make it hurt worse.  On the way home from the hospital Cowboy expressed quite pitifully, "I want my tonsils back!"

Thank heaven above Baby Boy did so great.  He was so happy-go-lucky and has been all day.  We've been truly blessed!

Poor Princess also had a sty on her eye.  Before surgery.

Before surgery - getting an iv for some antibiotics.  A sweet nurse gave him the "special" camo tape

Didn't get a pre-op pic, so this is in recovery.

Watching Dora

This was before she puked ALL over those nice clean blankets.  :)

Sweet baby girl

Going home!

I love this smile!

Home at last

Watching movies

My throat hurts Grandma!

Our living room set up for the next couple of days.

And the happy baby of the family

LOVE this statement

If you can't tell, I'm always on the lookout for ideas to help me become a better mother this year.

There are times when reading or listening to someone speak that a line just jumps out and touches you in some spectacular manner.  I was reading the January Ensign and in the article President Thomas S. Monson was talking about missionary work, but something he wrote struck a chord with me because I believe that raising children is also an errand of the Lord.  "Remember that this is the Lord's work, and when we are on the Lord's errand, we are entitled to the Lord's help.  The Lord will shape the back to bear the burden placed upon it."

I love that statement.  It went straight to my heart as only truth does.  The responsibility of being a mother can be daunting.  It is my obligation to teach them the things they need to know to return to their Father in Heaven.  To arm them with the weapons they need to fend of Satan's attacks.  The task is vast and great.  The term burden doesn't have to be negative.  I do have the burden of raising my children unto the Lord.  I take great comfort in that sentence: The Lord will shape the back to bear the burden placed upon it.  It goes along the lines of "with God, all things are made possible."

How grateful I am for continuing revelation and a prophet here on Earth. 

Mom knows best!

I laughed so hard about this while telling it to my mom, I actually snorted.

Princess has a sore in her nose and I put some polysporin on it and told her not to touch it - no matter what.  She asked, "What if it itches?"  To which I replied, "Scratch your bum."  A while later I look over and she is starting to scratch her bum with her brow creased in puzzlement and says, "Mom, is it really going to work for my nose if I scratch my bum?"  I said, "Of course it will, honey."  I then promptly went into my room and about died laughing.
HAHAHAHA!!!!!  I'm still rolling now recounting it.  Sometimes I forget how literal children can be.  LOVE them!

Borrowed story

A friend of mine had this posted on her blog from a talk given in church and I just love it.  It was exactly what I needed to read today in my quest of being a better mom.  Hope you don't mind me using it Amber!

There was a man who desperately wanted a nice lawn. He spent all his time out in his yard trying to get rid of the weeds that were growing among his grass. Every Saturday he would go to the local nursery and buy another product to try to kill those weeds. When a week passed and he didn't see a noticeable difference, he would go back to the nursery again and get another product to try. He did this for a couple months with little success in killing all those weed for good. At the nursery there was an old man who had been a landscaper for many years and was an expert in lawn care. After several months of watch the young man come in and buy weed killers he finally approached him and gave him some advice. He told the young man to forget the weeds and spend his efforts fertilizing and nourishing the grass. Then with exception of a few necessary pluckings now and then, he would no longer have the weeds. Instead he would have a beautiful lush lawn that kept the weeds from growing in the first place.

The speaker then compared this story to us as parents. How often we spend our energy on the things we see as faults in our children. We put so much effort into plucking out and killing the weeds in their lives that we are out of energy to do the fertilizing. Sometimes we even do the same thing in our own lives. If we focus on encouraging and nurturing the good things we see in our children and ourselves then we will discover that those things will blossom until there is no more room for the bad. So save your plucking for the really big things and otherwise just spend lots of time fertilizing and enjoying the wonderful lawn it produces in our lives.

What a year!

As we all do, I've been reflecting on this last year and the events that have occurred for our family, lessons we've learned, and giving some thought on what we can do better this next year.

2010 brought:
- A scary time of unemployment
- A move to Utah
- Zane's first "real job"
- Another move back to Idaho, but getting to live in a "real" house with a yard (and garage!)  :)
- first soccer, t-ball, and basketball teams
- Princess in school all day!
- Zane's departure for Misery
- Many, many testaments to the tender mercies of the Lord.
- And of course, the highlight of our year was the birth of Baby Boy

I learned more about myself this year, and not all of it was pleasant.  But I'm grateful for a forgiving husband and children who loved me in spite of me.  I look forward to what this new year will bring.  I anticipate a career change and another move on the horizon, but what, where, and when will reveal themselves in time.  My husband will turn 30, I will lose another baby to school (*sigh*).  All of them will continue to grow and change in many different ways, as will I.

President Hinckley said in one of his closing remarks to General Conference, "Our faith will have been strengthened, our resolve fortified. Where we have felt defeated and beaten, I hope that a new courage has come into our lives. Where we have been wayward and indifferent, I hope that a spirit of repentance has taken hold of us. Where we have been unkind or mean and selfish, I hope that we have determined that we will change. All who walk in faith will have had that faith strengthened."  I feel like this is an appropriate statement to end my year and begin another.  I feel optimistic and hopeful of the changes that need to occur in my life.  There are many things I need to work on and I've learned a lot and I'm looking forward to what new things we will learn in the next 12 months.