Withdrawls

I'm computerless.  I feel like an important appendage has been removed from my body.  Especially when attempting to look for homes for sale in another state.  Or paying bills.  Or looking something up when I think of it.

And I'm addicted.  I see it now.  I'm pathetic.  And I'm grateful for the reawakening into how much a computer can distract from children when you aren't careful.  I haven't been careful.

So I am at the library for my weekly break from children because I feel like I am going to go nuts without my computer.  But I'm not.  It just shows how sad sad sad I am sometimes.  :)

Keeping track

Are you able to keep track of all the disasters and conflicts going on right now?

I can't.

It seems like I just find out about one when another occurs.

Praying for those affected - though at this point I feel like I should just start praying for everyone because it seems we have reached that point in the last days the scriptures tell us about.  Constant wars and rumors of wars, fire and famine, storm and flood, pestilence and earthquakes...

It makes me grateful.  Extremely grateful for our safety and shelter.

And mindful of those who may be suffering.

Overrated

Actually living in the same house as my husband is overrated.  Especially when this husband of mine isn't really going to be living at said house during the week until the winter time.  Especially when finding/buying a house and packing and moving are involved. OVERRATED.

Just kidding.

Kind of.

:)  hehe.

I think I'm going to get dumped

By my realtor.  I would dump me if I were him.

He just found out his commission is going to drop in half.  After he worked to compile a whole lot of houses for us to consider that we now are not going to consider.

Awesome right?

The bright side is by changing our tune, there is a distinct possibility, even reality that we will be COMPLETELY debt free (minus the mortgage) in two years or less.  With a substantial savings.  I like that tune.  Especially when it means I only have to suck it up in my van for less than 3 more years before I can get a car I love.  And we will be able to get a nicer house than we can now, maybe with matching furniture.  :)  lol.  Another plus to this decision?  It means I am probably going to sell 80% of my furniture and other crap before we move.  Which means less to move.  Which means a smaller moving van.  Which also means I get to use that $$ I get and save to buy furniture that fits the space, instead of making my huge furniture fit in the tiny space.  And closet organizers - nice real ones.  :)


Dave Ramsey would be so proud.  Except, I'm not waiting to pay cash on my house, and I am not going to stop saving to pay off the debt faster.  But that's another story.

So, yeah.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to get dumped by my realtor.  And my kids may have to do without an awesome yard (maybe).  Or a big dog.  And we will definitely be moving before 5 yrs is up.  :)

*sighs*

After a few weeks of utter and complete frustration looking for a home to buy in Utah, I finally had an epiphany tonight.  Why am I looking so hard?  That is why I am using a realtor.  Because I can't be there right now.  I feel a little dumb for wasting all this time and stress.  However, something tells me this poor man is going to earn his commission working for me...

But that is what is going on in our home right now.  That and I tried to do the lawn this last week and ruined the trimmer, and couldn't get the lawn mower to start and finally gave up after 15 minutes - at least I got the front lawn mowed...not trimmed...I hate when I have to admit when I fail doing a "man's" job.  :)  Don't worry though.  I'm determined that stupid piece of machinery will not see the last of me - I'm just going to have a little lesson on it first from my husband.  The funny thing was after dealing with this I looked at my neighbor across the street trimming his lawn effortlessly and I just wanted to throw a rock right at him in my irritation.  I opted to turn around and stick out my tongue at my own trimmer hanging in the garage and marched myself inside.

To Brother Bear

I'm a little later posting this than I wanted, but it's been a little busy with sickness at home.

My sweet Brother Bear,

What a sweet surprise you turned out to be!  You were my longest and most miserable labor, but you my adorable baby have been such a delight.  You fit into our lives perfectly and your fun personality has always made us smile and laugh.

 Who can resist a face like this?  Not your mama, that's for sure!

 

Your kissable cheeks and sparkling eyes are the light of my days.

  And now you are THREE!  It has taken you a while to find your words so it's been easy for me to think of you as my "baby" for a longer time.  You love to make people smile and laugh, but when others make you smile and laugh you try to hide it behind your hand - keeping a serious face.  :)  You have the best facial expressions - a million words can be said in one look.  I love you my sweet baby boy.  Thank you for making your mama smile.

Love,

Mama

To Cowboy

Since I have two boys who were both born on the same day, I will post another note to Brother Bear tomorrow.  :)

To my darling 5 year old Cowboy,

 I should have known from the start you would do things with your own particular flare.  After 4 or 5 hours of labor and no progress, you decided to come flying out in less than 20 minutes.  Your dad had to catch you because you came so fast.  And you haven't stopped since.  You jabbered early, were talking in sentences by the time you were 1, and started running (I mean walking) when you were just 9 months old.

You have always had an affinity for chocolate and LOVED dogs and balls when you turned the big "1"

 Not many boys can say they got to be a big brother on their 2nd birthday!  At this time in your life, you still loved dogs and we took you bowling a few days after Mom and brother came home.

 Three is when you were designated "Cowboy."  Horses, horses, and anything Cowboy!

 Four years old and still a Cowboy.  :)

And now you are FIVE and I can hardly ever take pictures of you because you are always on the go.  You are SO smart and LOVE singing songs.  I am so impressed with how fast you can memorize them!  You are terrified of all small animals, particularly dogs and cats, but horses are still your love.   My darling boy - you keep your mommy on her toes, but I am SO grateful you chose to come and join our family.  You have your own personality, a tender heart, and the biggest imagination!  I hope you never ever lose it.  And I hope someday you let me come and visit your Spiderman house - 

it sounds like a perfect place to be!  :)  

Love,

Mama

Fight or flight?

I grimace as I write this post and wonder what you will think of me broadcasting one of my many weaknesses.

If someone were to ask me if I were a fight or flight type of person, I would invariably have to reply FLIGHT.  This may surprise some who think because I may speak my mind about some things I would be more of a fighter.  I'm not.  There are things that I stand my ground on for sure, but in most cases when there is an unpleasantness I would rather take the Scarlett O'Hara approach and think on it tomorrow, or frankly, not at all.

When things are stressful or uncertain and I don't really care to deal with them, I read books.  Lots of books.  I think I use them as an escape from a reality I don't particularly care to deal with at the moment.  It is purely selfish and completely time wasting, not to mention not very good in the fulfilling of any mothering/housekeeping tasks I may have.

I am not saying that it isn't okay to take some time out for yourself every once in a while.  By all means!  I am merely confessing that there are times that I immerse myself in the literary world too much just to put off thinking about the real world.

Zane keeps telling me to write a book and at least get paid for my whimsy.

Alas, I confess my dreams are not filled with page provoking sparkly vampires.  And my grammar isn't so great either.  :)

So there you have it.  My name is Mary and I am a terrible book addict at the most inopportune times...mainly when there are decisions to be made, or upcoming changes I fear I can do nothing about, or when life just simply overwhelms.  I confess the latter has been inflicting me the most as of late.

How about you?  Are you a fighter or a flighter?

Compliments

I've been remiss lately that I haven't been as complimentary to others in recent years as in the past.

Why is it most of us think something kind of others and then keep it to ourselves?

Life is too short.

I hope you take the time today to say what you think, to one you love, or even a stranger.  And while you are at it, maybe pay yourself a compliment too.  It is something we do too little in our overly critical society.

One more thing: if someone else says something nice to you - just say a sincere thank you without argument.  I have been utterly guilty of brushing off compliments and I resolve to do better.

Happy day everyone!

Silence

Excuse the lack of posts as of late, but I find myself at a loss for something to say.

Or maybe I'm just waiting for something profound to say.

Or perhaps I am just waiting until I have a clear direction in our life.  We knew this stay in Twin Falls was a short one, but this school year is coming to a rapid conclusion that is leaving me a bit breathless and unsure of where we will be next. 

Or perhaps, I am just plain TIRED.  :)

Baby Boy was cute today.  He can crawl wherever he wants now and it has opened a new world for him.  Today he crawled over to the curtains and was playing peek-a-boo and laughing so hard at himself in a laugh that said, "haha - look at me!  I'm doing it by myself!" 

Two of my babies will be 3 and 5 on Thursday...deep breath...it is truly amazing how fast time goes by.  I will be saying that about my children every year until I take my last breath.

Speaking of - I feel a bit cynical.  Bin Laden is dead - you read it all over facebook today.  My only thought when I heard the news?  Well, glad they got him finally, but there will always be another one all too willing to step up.  Nice of Obama to take the credit.  But to be fair, I think whoever was in the White House would regardless of their party.  I will say I am so glad he had the foresight to not close Gitmo...dork.  :P