Saved by the doorbell

Hubby and I had a bad start to the morning. I had to get up super early and hit the DMV for a new license, Zane was staying home with the kids until I got home (thus being later for work) and was IMO, overly concerned about my time management for getting there. I resented his interference and nagging and was so irritated by the time I left that I told him where he could go as I slammed the door. I was still peeved when I came home and barely spoke to him as he left.

A while later the doorbell rang and I got a beautiful surprise bouquet of flowers and a very sweet and sentimental card (for anyone who knows my hubby, this is very unusual of him - he doesn't even bring me flowers for the birth of our children). Needless to say, he was quickly forgiven. :) He must have known he would need to save the day when he ordered them a while ago. haha.

A tentative plan

After much upheaval this last couple of weeks, I feel like we have a tentative plan in place that at least gives me a little bit of calm.

Zane will be leaving Tuesday (isn't he sweet to stay for my birthday?) and the kids and I will just stay put. Ideally we would stay until Princess was done with school, but I'm not going to box myself in with definitive dates. For now, it's right for us to stay and then make more decisions after a bit of breathing time. :) Whatever happens now, we will at least be together for the summer until the baby is born.

So, I'm feeling a bit more like I can breathe. Thanks for all your positive support and prayers! It's definitely helped and been appreciated.

Stretched

I was commenting to my dad that I am taking comfort in the promise that the Lord will never give us more than we are capable of handling. He observed that was true, although the Lord does see fit to stretch us pretty far.

I'm stretched. Officially stretched.

Zane told me last night they want him up in Twin Falls this Tuesday. Today he said Monday (what an awesome birthday present for me).

Just call me Gumby.

Moving...*sigh*

We are great movers. But really, that doesn't mean I want to or even like to move all that much. I almost had my mental breakdown yesterday while looking for houses to rent online in Twin. Of course it didn't help that all 3 kids have strep, we are quarantined, and now guess who else is coming down with it? I need to turn in our 30 day notice to our apartments today...UGH. I am having a hard time reconciling myself to this move. I never wanted Princess to go to several different schools her first years of school. I just don't know what else to do. Things would probably be different if 1- I wasn't due to have another baby; 2- we weren't going to have to live without Zane for 6 months already starting in November.

I wish there was an easy answer. I don't want to go, and I don't want to stay. If I don't go, we will basically be choosing to live without Zane for over a year. Moving...*sigh*

Doctor Dilemma

Brother Bear has been sick for a while but I've been putting off going to the doctor. I really hate trying to find new doctors who are accepting new patients in a new area. So I've put it off. Well, now all three are sick and two are running fevers. Zane said I had to get them in to a doctor pronto this morning...I still debated until almost lunch time. Then I remembered a walk-in clinic I saw so we drove over there and had the kids checked out. Well, 3 cases of strep, 1 case of scarletina, 3 bottles of amoxicillin, and all 3 going down for a nap at the same time later - with no arguments I might add...guess my hubby was right. My poor kids needed a doctor. Now, if we can just keep this from spreading to Mom and Dad...

So, for the next 72 hrs we will be quarantined to our house (doctor's orders) - and I will be going CRAZY trying to entertain 3 already cabin feverish kids. By the way, did you know you are supposed to "quarantine" for 72 hrs if you have strep? I did not know this - I thought it was only 24 hrs after being on antibiotics.

Love this man

My hubby starts his new job tomorrow, thus starting our new life. I'm so proud of all he's done for us. He's always done whatever he can to ensure me being able to stay home with the kids and I am so grateful. He's a great daddy and always willing to stop and play when the kids ask. I'm so lucky to have him as my Valentine. Love this man! :)

Complete irony

Before you read this, you need to know that I honestly think the following is HILARIOUS. No joke, I laugh whenever I think about it.

Zane was supposed to start his job on the 22nd of the month and work on a project here in Utah. He got a call today - he starts this next Monday and will now be working on a project in...drumroll please...TWIN FALLS, IDAHO. hahahaha. Anyone else see the hilarity of the situation besides us?

The thing is, we truly feel and believe that we would not have been blessed with this job had we not taken the initiative and moved down here. It probably would have been easier to stay in Idaho, but who's to say things would have gone the same way?

So once again, we are facing the unknown. Do we all move up there for a temporary job? Do we meet in the middle somewhere and get Zane an apt by his job? When will we go? Who knows? But I have to say, in all of this I have truly seen the Lord's hand in retrospect and I believe this will be no different...except maybe the apartment choice. :)

By the way, I found out all this right after they finally cleaned out the garage for us. Complete irony, I'm telling you. :)

Yay! No, double yay! Who am I kidding?!?!

ZANE'S GOT AN OFFICIAL JOB!!!! YAY!!!!! We are so excited and thankful for all those who kept us in your prayers. He got the offer at the company that he really wanted to work for so he is just thrilled. I for one am relieved and SO happy!! :)

Settling in...sort of

After a long and thought out process, I decided to go ahead and enroll Princess in the local school. I was honestly toying with the idea of home school, but social needs won out in the end. She met her teacher today and tomorrow is her first day. She is super excited, so that of course makes me a happy mom! She also loves having her own room. Mostly because it's "peaceful" at night. :)

Cowboy and Brother Bear are doing pretty well. BB is attached to his dad's shadow CONSTANTLY and pitches a fit if he ever leaves his sight. Zane's a good sport about it though and I really think he likes being the favorite. Cowboy misses his old house, his baby-sitter, his church, and pretty much he says at least once a day, "I want to go back to my old house Mom." (I think he and I are having the hardest time).

This has been quite an adjustment move - in more ways than I thought it would be. Zane is way over me being sad about leaving Idaho and I think he just might blow a gasket if he sees me crying again or with red eyes. I don't care - it's been a hard move for me and I'll be sad if I want to darn it! :) Change is always good, and this move will be no different from the rest eventually.

Still no word on a job...still hopeful though. That's about it for now. We're still waiting for our garage to be ready so we can get the rest of our stuff from the old storage unit (the poor manager has no idea what she is going to face tomorrow if we don't get the stupid thing that was supposed to be ready last Monday, then Thursday, then Friday, then today...she'll have a stressed-out super hormonal crazed woman about to BLOW up). I can hardly wait.

We're here

I don't have a lot of time to update since we are accessing the internet at the local library for now, but we have arrived. I've cried a few times the last couple of days - never thought I would be super sad to leave Rexburg, but it has been a lot harder than I thought. Cowboy started crying Saturday night and was saying, "I don't want to go to our new house, I like our old house!" I have to admit I was thinking the SAME thing! Our apartment is fine - it has more sq footage which is nice, but not as much usable space (aka - closet organizers and PANTRY). Princess is loving having her own room, so that is a lot of fun. Zane's got his interview tomorrow - we hope everything will be alright and go well, so keep sending prayers our way!

That's it - we're safe, we're here, and we are slowly unpacking and adjusting. Utah County is probably the last place on earth we ever wanted to be, but I'm sure everything will be for the best. We've decided while we are here to hit a new temple every Sunday - should keep us entertained for quite a while. :)

Progress is good

Everyone PRAY. :) Zane's got a second interview Feb 2. We are praying not only that he gets a job with them, but that they will want him to start SOON. But 2nd interview is definitely progress.

So I am trying to do some type of major cleaning every day so when next week comes, we don't have to do a whole lot. These are the times that I wish both Zane and I were not raised to leave places nicer than how we found them. I was looking at my kitchen today after I cleaned the range hood and even without cleaning out the oven, it is still cleaner now than when we moved in. You would think that would make me relax, but no - too bad I have high standards of what is "move out clean."

Just to get everyone on the same page...

Check out my sidebar... :)

We're alive...still!

There's not a ton of new updates in our family. We are very excited Zane graduated and commissioned as an officer in December. We got to spend time with lots of family and friends, and the kids had a blast with my parents over Christmas. We are truly blessed. Princess was very happy to start school again after the holidays (she'd had enough of us), and the boys are as precocious and silly as ever. No word on a job yet, but we've decided to leap in and move to Utah in the hopes of finding something sooner and easier than we can in the 'Burg. So we will be official Utahns at the end of the month! Lots of prayers are being said here right now - for sure! :) Anyway, life is always adventurous and we are all going with the flow for now. I'm sure there will be more to update soon, but for now - that's all!

Christmas gifts

I've been trying to think of ways to get the kids involved with Christmas giving this year because they are getting old enough to understand giving to each other and I think it's a super fun part of the holidays. We decided to do a "Homemade" theme for Christmas this year, so everyone will give and get something homemade. I'm excited to get the kids ready for it - I even found some ideas for the boys to get involved in. :) Zane's not too sure about this whole non-buying thing (well, except for a few supplies) but I think he'll catch on soon enough! Anyway, I just wanted to put it out there that there are some fun ideas available online if you want to help your kids with some gifts this year! Just Google "homemade gifts for kids to make."

Our crazy life

Someday this up-and-down-and-all-around journey our lives are on will be over and we will be settled, right? :) Zane is waiting to see if any of the interviews he has had will pan out into actual official job offers, so we are playing the waiting game for a few more weeks. Meanwhile we are trying to do all we can on our side to make sure we are prepared and ready for whatever comes. It's been a struggle as some of you know for me to accept that we felt so good and sure about Boise, but there are just no jobs for Zane. Perhaps it's just not the right timing, but it just doesn't seem to be working out to go there. Who knows why we would feel right about it and then not? I questioned my ability to receive revelation among other things, but I recently just accepted that I did feel good about it, but it's okay if things change - I can't see the whole picture. It has been a process though for sure! So the two companies Zane has the biggest leads on are both based in Utah. Fun, fun!

Meanwhile the kids are just doing great! Princess is doing very well in school and loving every minute. She is reading more and more and still loves to do any kind of artwork. She is involved in an after school program two days a week and she loves it so much she can't understand why I don't have her in it every day. But I would miss her terribly - it's hard enough on the days she has it already! :) I'm glad she is doing well with it though, it makes me feel better about her adjustment to a full day of school next year - or the next few months depending on what school she transfers to. She is always helpful and can hardly wait until we have a place that can have a garden. :) She is making such good friends at school and still loves to dress up and play princess and pretend. She is also giving a talk in primary next week and is very excited (which for those who know her is a big deal). It looks like she is starting to come out of her "embarrassment" for being in front of people. I hope, I hope! Princess is also very diligent about homework - hope that lasts and she doesn't take after her mom and dad! :)

Cowboy is my sweet trial right now. There is something about that 3 1/2 stage that is so hard for me. He is no exception. It amazes me how he can be making me want to scream one minute and laugh the next with some funny expression or saying or look he gives. He is his own person that is for sure! :) In all honesty, the little tyrant melts my heart and is just a fun little boy with LOTS of energy and a brain that won't slow down. He is my boy that is addicted to the tv, but always trying to use the arms of my couches as horses. He puts down blankets then sits on top of pillows for his saddle and uses a jump rope as the reins of his horses. I'm very interested to see if he really loves real horses as much - we'd like to find somewhere that will give him riding lessons when he's old enough. :) He also LOVES Star Wars and is constantly pretending that he is Yoda or Annikan or Luke with his "light saver."

Brother Bear is officially in nursery now and starting to communicate so much more. He is still our big boy and now weighs 1 lb more than his brother so I'm having to practice safe picking up so as to not hurt my back. :D He is a joy though and loves to climb on everything, pretend sword and gun fight with his brother, and gets so excited about dogs and horses (like his brother). He crawls around on the floor growling and barking like a dog, and likes to tattle on his siblings. He'll come and grab my leg just chewing out about something and bring me to whoever is the offender and point and jabber.

Last night one of Zane's friends brought his baby over so we could watch her for a little while because his wife's work schedule overlaps his class. It was so fun! She is just a tiny little bundle and only 2 months. I'm not sure who loved having her here more - me or the kids. :) Brother Bear kept saying in a high voice "Baby, aww Baby!" and giving her kisses on her head. Princess wanted to hold her the whole time (I had to argue with her to get a turn) (: and Cowboy was the same as the other two, but not quite as hovering - he didn't have the patience to stick around as long. It makes me want to have another one, but don't worry - I should be able to hold off for a while until our lives get a little more under control. :o)

We are a little excited and nervous about the new step in our lives. We will be looking to buy when we move, so wish us luck! When we compared the differences in renting vs buying in Utah, the buying far outweighs the renting. Especially since rent is on average at LEAST a 100-200 more than a mortgage including the taxes and insurance. So we decided we should look into the buying and hopefully we can find something before the $8000 tax credit ends. Might as well take advantage of it while we can. :o)

Religious Freedom

I read this link on a friend's facebook status and feel that everyone needs to be exposed to it. Elder Dallin H Oaks gave a devotional talk today at BYU-Idaho. All I have to say is AMEN, and AMEN - and God help us all.

http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/religious-freedom

Over it

So I guess the way to get over regret is actually write it out, or talk it over with someone. :) I'm over it. hahaha. I've also realized a certain trend to my feelings of guilt/regret - they happen to come about once a month or so...

:)

Regret

I'm not sure how I feel about this emotion. In some cases, I think it's good to regret because it reminds you not to go down that path or make that choice again. That being said, for me it is also an emotion that is hard to overcome. I was looking through my old pictures yesterday and came across some of an old friend of mine. That person is one of my biggest regrets. I dreamed about it all night. I truly don't think there is anything more I can do to try and make restitution, so there's no sense dwelling on it, right? Ah, but therein lies my problem - how do I rid myself of this feeling of regret? This person meant SO much to me and became a major casualty in the stage of my life where I was like a roller coaster/ping pong ball going from one thing to another - not sure of anything. No this wasn't an old boyfriend, but a dear friend whom I hurt deeply. Most of the time I can ignore this area of regret in my life, but there are times that I am truly pained by it. I wish there was more I could do, but I fear it is simply impossible to do anything else...

Perhaps it is just one of the many human experiences that make this life what it is and perfects us. I guess I just keep praying this feeling of regret will go away...maybe I am just selfish and just want to have some peace of mind. I just want to meet up with this person and have a good long talk and personally ask for forgiveness. I wish it were possible. Maybe it's something that will just have to wait until we are on the other side.

Regret is interesting. I'm not entirely sure how to shake it off, realizing that it isn't right to dwell on such things. This person probably doesn't even care one bit anymore and has rightfully moved on and forgotten all about it. Although I think sometimes it's easier to forget and forgive if you are the offended rather than being the offender. It's harder to forgive myself than it is to forgive others.

Cleanliness

*sigh*

Potty training with Cowboy has been relatively easy for which I am grateful.

I just want to mention though, that I don't think I have EVER had as clean of a bathroom in my life - his wonderful dad was trying to do the right thing and teach him to hold his appendage down...which has unfortunately decreased the aim factor SIGNIFICANTLY for some strange reason. Needless to say, between wanting the toilet clean in case Brother Bear gets past the barriers (ie- closed doors and everyone else in the family) and starts throwing toys in, and needing to bleach the entire area each day to rid myself of the feeling of a gross public restroom-I have a VERY clean bathroom.

*sigh*

I'm sure it could be worse, right? :) At least he and Michael aren't playing sword fights...yet!

Content

I posted this on facebook, but I love being content. Of course, I don't think you should be too content and just let things go and stop striving for higher - but it's nice to be able to sit down and look at my husband and children, think on our journey and be...happy. It is certainly a blessing from God, especially considering all that is uncertain in our lives right now.

I've been on a pioneer kick lately. Maybe that's why I am feeling so content and happy. The things they were able to endure and the attitudes with which they lived have really inspired me to adopt the slogan by Elder Wirthlin, "Come what may, and love it!" There is a bigger picture and focusing on the eternal scheme helps smooth out the roughness of our every day roads.